Today I'm going to talk about the pill. No, it's not the pill you're thinking of, and no, I'm not pregnant. :) I'm talking about the pill I think should be invented, so pill scientists, listen up. This could be big.
We need a pill that will stop us women from talking about how frustrated we are with our hair. I don't know about you, but I've yet to meet a female who loves every last strand of her hair--the curlies want it straight and the straighties want curls. It's too think or too thin or too course or too fine.
So, don't mind me, as I share with the world a portion of my hair sob story:
When I was a baby, I had no hair. Not a strand--until I was two years old! When it did come in, it was thin and fine. (If only we were talking about something other than hair, that might be considered a good thing. But wait, I'm two years old right now. I digress.)
When I hit puberty (hate that word), some of my hair went curly, especially on the sides. As if all the other changes that come with the "p" word weren't enough, my side kinks made their debut. (Think Einstein.) And so I suffered through having weird half straight/half really curly hair for many years.
And then I grew up, got married, and after I started having kids, my hair went back to being straight. I was mostly thrilled with that, except for when I'd see a movie with Keri Russel in it--then I'd wish for my curls back. But wait, my hair never looked like Keri Russel's in the first place, so nevermind.
But get this. They're back! My side kinks are back with a vengeance! The hair that fell out after having baby #3 is growing in curly just like back in the good ol' "p" days. And boy, that's been a lot of fun-- short little whispy hair coming in against the rest of my long straight hair. It's awesome.
The bottom line is, I'm pretty sure hormones have a great deal to do with what our hair does, our skin does, our metabolism, our moods. So scientists, what we need is a custom hormone pill that is different for each girl, so that life can be really boring and all girls can look perfect and alike and be super happy all the time. Oh, and we'd want to customize our pill regularly since our hormones change every three seconds.
Until then, bring it, side kinks. I own you! :)